Troubles in Burgerland?

Hmmmm...:

http://www.luckybucksbarandgrill.com/

Or maybe Lee Bergeron just put Jeremy in charge of the site... LOL!

For the backstory on this, see here.

Moving Out

This from Brent's latest blog post:

"...I’m moving out of the home we live in. I’ve been apartment hunting in San Diego. Grant is really worried about letting me go and he does not want it. But I know that if I get some independence and spend less time here, we will get along better. I know it will take some of the strain off of us. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it, getting some space will save our relationship...."

Read the whole thing.

Not much of a shocker, really, if you have been following Brent's blog the past few months; past posts have told of the strain the murder and trial have placed on then, and the glacial melting of their relationship as a result. A slow, reluctant and (thus far) amicable break up. And you know, I think it's fair to say most relationships would have imploded much sooner, under half the strain and pressure this one was subject to, over the past couple years.

Yet another casualty of Harlow and Joe's actions, two Januaries ago.

It would be additionally unfortunate, IMO, if this also led to the breakup of their website and business arrangements. This is not due to me being a "fan" of Brent per se, but rather (as I have said before) me being a fan of ANY porn star who has the guts to take on the gay porn establishment, use the freedom of the internet to strike out on their own, and break the shackles imposed by exploitive porn companies (ie, Cobra Video).

Let me close this post with a quote from the Crab Catcher Transcripts; this is while they are in the car, driving to pick up Harlow and Joe from their hotel...about to meet them face to face for the first time since Las Vegas:

GRANT ROY: (Coughing)... shit, I need some water.




SEAN LOCKHART: I love you.




GRANT ROY: I love you too, just be strong, be strong,...

"Has Manhunt Destroyed Gay Culture?"

That's the title of Michael Joseph Gross' latest feature article for Out magazine. As most of you will recall, Mr. Gross authored the earlier "The Case of the Cobra Killer" Out feature on the Kocis killing as well.

An underlying theme to Gross' Kocis article was that while the evidence against Harlow and Joe was overwhelming, he felt there was still something lacking from the "gay porn turf war" motive. Expressing no doubt about Harlow and Joe's guilt, he theorized that the missing motive mojo was "radical dissociation" brought on by the current gay cultural trend of online hookups, and the ability to thus create new internet personas willy-nilly:

"Bryan Kocis, Sean Lockhart, Harlow Cuadra, and Joseph Kerekes reinvented themselves online. Military patriotism or fundamentalist faith helped accustom some of them to double lives. But these four were caught up in a mode of reinvention disconnected from the one that in literature and life has united American characters as disparate as Abraham Lincoln, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Horatio Alger, Jay Gatsby, and Tom Ripley.

Those men all left home to start anew. These men just logged on. They created alternate identities in parallel worlds, as most of us do now, imagining that we need not give up anything to do so, believing that our games exact no unrecoverable cost. The difference between us and the characters in the case of the Cobra killer is one of scale, not of kind. Unreal realities, endless flickering between truth and fiction, an addictive stream of possible connections among possible selves, converging in the dead end of a life."

I'll admit my own openness to the theory, having personally catalogued Joe Kerekes' extreme online derangement prior to his arrest.

In the new Out article, Gross picks up that theme again in a big way, with a major expose on the very popular Manhunt online hookup site. Subtitled "A cost-benefit analysis of our quest to get laid," as you can imagine from Gross' previous article...the costs are generally portrayed as pretty weighty, and the benefits miniscule or illusiory.

This new article has already created quite a stir out there, raising eyebrows already on blogs quite a bit bigger than this one.

Now, Gross did not specifically list "increased propensity to drive to another state and murder someone" as one of the costs in this new cost-benefit analysis, so, this new article is not Kocis-related per se. Still, it is interesting, and does touch upon his earlier theme about the impact of online fantasy as being an additional piece to the motive puzzle.

So...Manhunt: Good or evil? Discuss.

Update: Well here's an interesting twist on the story!

Update 2: Update to the update. As before, the Towleroad comments are on fire!

Update 3: And now, Crutchly resigns from Manhunt board.

A Tale of Two Restaurants

What happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas, when it came to the infamous Le Cirque dinner between Grant Roy, Sean Lockhart, Harlow Cuadra and Joe Kerekes. On the contrary, that Vegas dinner got extensively talked about and rehashed some time later at the Crab Catcher restaurant in La Jolla, California...by all four of the original participants.

And thanks to PC's posting of the entire set of Crab Catcher Transcripts (CCTs) we can now reconstruct what was said, and who said it, at the mysterious and controversial Le Cirque dinner in Vegas. The CCTs, when studied in detail, pretty much settle any conflicting accounts of that earlier dinner.

At the outset, lets remind everyone of the two different versions of the Le Cirque dinner propounded in this case. First, there is Grant's version, laid out in the arrest affidavit:

"Roy continued by stating that he and Lockhart subsequently met with Cuadra and Kerekes (aka Trent) for dinner at "Le Cirque", restaurant at the Bellagio Hotel. The foursome discussed conducting business at some point and possibly "trading (pornographic) scenes". Roy advised that LSG could not embark in such an endeavor at that time as they were embroiled in pending litigation with Cobra Video, and more specifically, Bryan Kocis. Cuadra then asked questions such as; "what if Bryan left the country, and what if he went to Canada". Roy stated that Lockhart "had a few drinks in him and didn't understand what Harlow was talking about", and stated; "then he'd only come back". Kerekes then stated that "Harlow knows someone who would do anything for him". Roy stated that as he looked at Harlow, Roy knew that Harlow was talking about killing the victim. Roy then stated to Cuadra that they (Roy and Lockhart) didn't need Kocis to leave the country, and the conversation was switched to another subject."

The other competing version out there is the "Angel of Truth" account, posted on Harlow's blog back in August of 2007. There is an excellent discussion of that account on PC's blog here; the relevant quote from it is as follows:

"Then there is the meeting in Vegas with Sean and Grant, Harlow nor Joe approached Sean or Grant about doing anything to Brian, the conversation was the other way around, there is an existing tape, that is the tape that Joe talks about in his email to Sean. The situation at the restaurnt is not as it believed, Sean and Grant gave a good story but Harlow did them one better by breaking two very expensive glasses in the restaurant when they brought up the demise of Bryan, at that point Harlow knocked over the glasses and asked the wait person for the check to get out of there."

First of all, lets quickly deal with this supposed "existing tape" AoT refers to. It is my belief that 1) the tape does not exist (see the the comments to the PC post to see the reasoning behind my skepticism); and 2) in the incredibly unlikely event that it does exist, it certainly does not record the AoT version of events; read on to see why.

So, that out of the way, what are the differences between the Grant version and AoT version? The way I see it, there are exactly two:

Grant's version: Harlow and Joe bring up murdering Bryan
AoT's version: Sean and Grant bring up murdering Bryan

and

Grant's version: Grant says "no" to murder
AoT's version: Harlow says "no" to murder (by breaking glasses).

Those are the only real differences in the dinner accounts. Every other detail I can think of (ie, they ate lamb, it was expensive, Harlow's credit card company picked up the tab, everyone was stupendously drunk, etc...) both parties pretty much are in agreement with.

So, lets turn to the CCTs, and settle those two little discrepancies, shall we? Starting first with, who first brought up this murder talk?

And here's our answer: From PC's CCTs:

JOSEPH KEREKES: Can I ask you something?





GRANT ROY: What?





JOSEPH KEREKES: Did you tell, did you ever tell your lawyer that we all had maybe talked about anything?




GRANT ROY: Yes.





JOSEPH KEREKES: Oh, he knows about it?





GRANT ROY: I told him we sat down, had a meeting and y'all brought it up.




JOSEPH KEREKES: Yea, the truth.

So! Grant tells Joe that "y'all brought it up" (ie, mention of murder), and Joe's response to that?

"Yea, the truth."

Yea, the truth indeed! NOW we all know the truth; Harlow and Joe first mentions murder, NOT Sean and Grant. Joe actively verifies this, on tape.

So, question one is settled, now onto question two...who at the dinner (if anyone) outright rejected any suggestion of 'Canadian emigration?'

And once again...the CCTs ride to the rescue, answering the burning question:

GRANT ROY: ... ... Ya know when I told you In Vegas, when we were sitting there, and I said, that doesn't need to happen because they're gonna come to me first, and that's exactly what the fuck has been happening, what I've been dealing with, and it's, it's, I'm, I'm not happy and he's' been dealing with it, and he doesn't deserve it, cause he had to fight this Cobra shit for the past two years and now this shit.

And what's Joe response to this? Does he object to the premise, saying "oh no Grant, I don't recall you saying this does not need to happen..." Negative. In fact, the next words out of Joe's mouth are:

JOSEPH KEREKES: I understand if you guys want to leave us alone.

Joe meekly accepts what Grant says to him, without protest.

And Grant's not finished. He wants to make sure Hannon and all the other PA, VA, FBI, DEA, SDPD and NCIS boys in the van did not miss this; so, a little later on he once again mentions BOTH who brought it up, and who nixxed it:

GRANT ROY: When we, when we had dinner and you brought that up, I said no, that doesn't need to happen, go home and read his blog, understand there's twenty fuckin pages that say Brent Corrigan and most of it, is because of this fuckin lawsuit we've been involved with, with Cobra, its so fuckin high profile, if anything happens to fuckin Bryan, they're coming after me and him, and me most likely because I was the one that's been most fuckin vocal about this since day one, screaming for everybody to do. their fuckln jobs.

And does Joe deny any of this? NO:

JOSEPH KEREKES: Have they interviewed. you though?

As you can see, Joe's immediate concern here is not protesting Grant's account...but whether Grant said any of this to the cops or not. :-)

So there you have it, the what-was-said-by-who-in-Vegas question...the question we've ALL been wondering about, ALL this time...is now answered in full. The Grant version is the 100% accurate one: Harlow and Joe brought up the murder, Grant immediately shot the idea down. This was never a murder-for-hire situation; the CCTs prove this.

And the status of the Angel of Truth version? Well, to use an analogy: It's like an expensive wine glass falling off a table, shattering into a million tiny pieces!

Oh, and one final matter of business, which I would be remiss if I failed to mention:

JOSEPH KEREKES: I apologize Grant, for hurting you guys and messing things up, I really do, I messed up our lives too.

And as we all know, you don't apologize for something someone wanted you to do...you apologize for something someone did NOT want you to do.

And as we can all see...ah, well, um...I screwed up. LOL...all these months, I've been calling it by the wrong name...all this time, it shoulda been: The Joe Apology.

Quel embarrassment!


Update: From today's Citizen's Voice: "...Grant Roy, a former suspect in the killing, and his business partner and lover, Sean Lockhart..."

Hostile and Tampering

Renee Martin first burst out of the shadows here on the Kocisphere last month, after I successfully exposed her connection to a Fort Worth based blog using IP evidence I had gathered.

What she had to say initially was, IMO, almost too good to be true: She was anti-Harlow and Joe! For some time now...but ***secretly***. Oh, she had helped them initially: a little three way phone call here, a website there...but she had now seen the light, she said. Harlow and Joe were guilty...guilty as sin! 'You were right all along, Jim' she flattered me. And she was now EAGER to play a starring role in the trial to convict them. Woohoo!

And INFO! That commodity we here in the Kocisphere cherish more than oxygen...INFO! She was ready to divulge all to us on these here blogs, she claimed. Could not wait to tell ALL she knew! And she knew plenty, she said. And dangled the promise of info in front of our eyes, like a drug dealer dangling a dime bag in the face of a junkie.

Hmmm. Well, as my momma always told me, if it's too good to be true, it probably isn't. So, needless to say I was a tad suspicious.

Then, within a few hours came the confirmation of my suspicions. This post showed up for approval:

"PRIVATE DO NOT POST.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH DAMON TODAY?I THINK IT IS TIME TO INTERVIEW DAMON , WHAT DO YOU THINK, I AM SURE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US WE CAN COME UP WITH SOME REALLY GOOD SHIT.

EITHER EMAIL ME AT alex53102@google.com or which ever way you want i think this would be a great one to touch on for the day and give damon some of his own shit back, what do you think?
Publish Reject (Renee) 4:43 PM"

Now, I've known for a while Harlow supporters have dreamed of outing me for some time now. They have said as much. But try as they might, they've always failed (instead, in several amusing instances of poetic justice, it's been the lead outers who got outed...but I digress). So naturally, I recognized this for what it was: a trap to help track down my identity. Without going into excessive techno-detail on the matter, an email from me would have given out info very useful to someone sleuthing for my identity. I knew this.

Even after I reminded everyone that I've opted not to talk behind peoples' backs in private emails and chats, Renee was persistent:

"Are you busy, I have a suprise for damon but need to know if i can get some help from you or dewayne? can you email me at my email or open up a chat and i will tell you what i am up too.

thanks
Publish Reject (Renee) 8:09 AM"

And when the DK angle failed to sway me, she came up with different pretexts:

"Jim you have just a few slight errors email me and we can go over them ok.

alex53102@google.com http://kruezeratnight.blogspot.com/

Private do not post my email or this comment
Publish Reject (Renee) 8:30 PM"

These phishing attempts went on for some time, becoming increasingly strident, but I never took the bait. Eventually and reluctantly, she gave up.

But beyond trying to ferret out identities by pretending to be "one of us," what was she up to, I wondered? Rob, as we all know, was very vocal about her being less-than-honest from the get go...but while undoubtedly true, it still didn't fully explain why. I wanted to know why.

So I decided the best strategy was to play along. Let her talk, indeed, encourage her to talk! That way, we'd find out what her game was soon enough. Eventually, I figured, she would hang herself.

And this week, she hung herself.

Her self-confessed shenanigans in Luzerne County at the aborted hearing are already so well-documented in the comments two posts back for the need to go into much detail here; suffice to say they include blatant acts of tampering against prosecution witnesses, such as maliciously publicizing hotel arrangements, the lodging of frivolous complaints, and even one stalker-like incident of her shadowing three witnesses across the square to a public bookstore.

Add to that her accusation that DA Melnick manipulatively lied in a recent court filing ("...some people take things and manipulate them to what they want them to be, mr. melnick did this..."), combined with her continual efforts to destroy the credibility of key prosecution witnesses by insinuating they may be responsible for the death of Bryan Kocis (this behavior is even more egregious, when you consider that the DA has made the fact that the parties involved are NOT responsible for the death of Bryan Kocis a key element of the Commonwealth's case), and it becomes abundantly clear Renee Martin is NOT the loyal, pro-prosecution witness she now claims to be.

Taking all this together...the efforts to crack the identities of Harlow critics, the witness tampering, the public sabotaging of the prosecution's case...it seems apparent to me she was, AND still is, actively working to free Harlow and Joe. Now covertly and insidiously from the inside, rather than overtly from the outside.

And there you have it: The "why" wondered about. That folks, is her game.

And the DA knows this, naturally. That's why she was placed under bond, and remains under bond, as a witness hostile to the prosecution. I'm sure the DA's office would happily verify this to a reporter, if asked, were it not for the gag order they are currently under.

Besides the witness bond, the other reason she's been "cooperating" to such a minimal extent thus far (i.e., this hearing, production of documents) has been subpoenas, the threats of subpoenas, and the still more dire threat of prosecution for her role in the illegal three-way phone calls between herself, Harlow and Joe. Such phone calls could easily be considered crimes; obstruction of justice and conspiracy to commit perjury come readily to mind. Obviously, when Melnick told the media after Harlow and Joe were caught that he would not rule out any additional arrests in this case...he clearly had Renee Martin in his thoughts.

Now, I use the term "witness" to describe Renee Martin very loosely, because as I've said before, I doubt she'll be doing much real witnessing. By all indications (indeed, by Renee's own admission) her only function on the stand will be to authenticate the transcripts of her prison phone calls with Harlow and Joe. Like a trained seal, she'll bark "yup!" when asked if the transcripts are true and authentic, and then be excused from the stand.

Theoretically, the defense could call her back to the stand as a friendly witness, but this seems to me tactically unwise; she's such a loose cannon and a hothead that it won't take much skill in cross-examination by the prosecution to cause her to come unglued, and quickly turn her into a quivering Queeg-like pile of apoplectic goo; for example:

"Madame said...
Please convey this message to the pedophile dewayne, Sean does not now or ever want your nasty ass, he will never want you, he has no use for you but to support his cause and he will throw you away when he is done with you and next thing to tell him is his threats on his blog go to the da in the morning and I will be filing charges against him, as you all say kentie is quilty of cyber stalking , lying and harassing people so is dewayne if kentie can go to jail so can you dewayne you are not by any means above the law. You shall find out that criminal charges have been filed against you and i will even be glad to give you the case number.

And as for all of your false accusations , you better have proof buddy cause the paper work is headed your way, do you know what a lawyer is? you will definaltey need it for defamation of character and all the other lies you put on your blog, caught on snapshot and printed and copy and pasted for saving ... As others cannot do you cannot defame someone , I did at no time defame sean , i have it in writing, what the fuck do you have you old worthless peice of shit, chasing after a 21 year old that wants nothing to do with you. Pass this on to the DA in the morning , that i personally am filing charges against you, i will also be filing a federal complaint here locally with the fbi agent that came to my home , maybe you should give him a call tomorrow he is listed on the witness list of 385 and have a talk with him after i file the complaint against your sick , worthless, pedophile ass.

Dont knock kentie or ng when you are the same thing as them and you cover it up by claiming to be a blogger.... ya right, big bullshit, and guess what i did not stay off your fucking blog either......... So leave the kiddies alone you old perv ."

So, I think it's fair to say Stan the Merman will have more lines in Another Gay Sequel than Renee will have at the Kocis trial.

Of course, that last quote brings me to my final point, and indeed, a sad one. For I fully realize what shall happen now; like Dewayne, I too shall be "reported" to the DA. And to the local FBI too! And will be sued for defamation and gawd knows what else as well, I imagine. I suppose I can expect this veritable hoard of lawmen and lawyers to show up my doorstop any day now, I am mortified to say.

For those of you at home keeping score, this should make me the third target of the Renee Martin Police Force. Dewayne was actually the second; the first was of course PC, in a memorable little incident just under a year ago today:

"Chat on 07/25/07:

me: Elm, we're getting ready to break the 'blessed' news... I'll explain more after the post.
9:12 PM eloise: whaT BLESSED NEWS?
me: as Reene calls it.
eloise: CALLS IT WHAT
9:13 PM me: You'll see... give me a bit... was just giving you a head's up as a friend.
eloise: OK9:17 PM me: I'll let you know when it's posted.
9:18 PM BTW... if there's anything I can help with in regards to the ** stuff... let me know.
9:19 PM eloise: pc you better watch what you post because you will be sued
me: I don't think so.
eloise: so you need to tell me what it is
me: You'll see.
9:21 PM eloise: PC I am serious about this you better watch what you post because attorneys are being called right now
me: That's okay... an attorney told me this.
9:22 PM eloise: then the attorney could be disbarred and you will be servewdf by 5PM tommorow
me: Elm, there's no reason to be like that... you don't even know what I'm going to post.
9:23 PM eloise: pc I am serious Iam not saying this the party involved is me: Well we'll go from there...
9:24 PM eloise: so you will be sued because privledged information can get you slapped with crimnal charges tommorow
9:25 PM me: Again... you don't even know what I'm going to say... no reason to assume.
9:26 PM eloise: PC you need to tell me and I will not post it but I am trying to save your ass
9:27 PM me: hold on...
9:30 PM eloise: pc you will be arreseted and and the attorney who told you will be disbarred
eloise: I'm on the pjhone with renee
me: With all due respect, I can't be arrested, trust me.
9:31 PM eloise: pc she is on the phne with an attorney as we speak
9:32 PM she is not playing and she will have you arrested
me: Elm, she can't... there's no reason to even make that statement.
eloise: you will be arrested I am trying to protect you
9:33 PM then you better post it before the cops get there she is already pissed at you so wy push it
9:34 PM me: Elm, I'm sorry I brought up the conversation.
eloise: don't be sorry just be smart
9:35 PM if you got any information from *** he will get arrested to
me: I think you know better than that.
9:38 PM eloise: pc they know who you are
9:39 PM me: I don't care... I know who 'they' are too.
9:41 PM eloise: PC you really don't understand this this is big and you be busted
]9:42 PM they are coming to get you and I am not lying
me: Elm, we've chatted a lot, and I've always considered you as a friend. These threats of being 'busted' are unfounded... I've already spoken with an attorney, and I'm not breaking the law in the least. Again... you don't even know what's going to be said... why the attitude?
9:43 PM eloise: if you got proivledge infrmation form an attorney that attorney will be disbarred. me: Let's go ahead and just end this conversation.
9:44 PM eloise: pc just tell me and we can end all of this
9:45 PM PC I realy don't give a rats ass what it is and i will not try nd scoop you9:46 PM there are allot of people who are really pissed right now and you will be loocked up
9:47 PM are you there
9:51 PM pc are you there
9:55 PM pc are you there
9:56 PM me: Yes Elm, I'm still here... please don't threaten me with legal recourse, because there isn't any... have Ree's attorney's state what law I've broken.
9:57 PM eloise: renee's attorney will be on the phone in a minute
9:58 PM this can not be released until a judge signs of on the deal
9:59 PM this is serious did you talk t one of oe and harlows attorney
me: Again Elm, you seem to assume what I know... even though I never told you.
10:00 PM eloise: then tell me and we can put an end to this
me: It's posted.
eloise: I promise I wont pst it you can if it is not what I think it is

10:01 PM you fucked up big time..."

Yep, it looks grim for me, folks. Clearly I have just "fucked up big time."

Ah, sigh. Well, there is a silver lining to these dark, looming storm clouds! As luck would have it...I am currently still waiting (and waiting...and waiting...) for my "lawyer letter" from Kent Barclay. And since I am still anxiously waiting for that anyways...I won't need to take any additional time out of my busy schedule nervously looking out my window for the Renee Martin Police Force to show up. I can conveniently kill two birds with one stone. Which, is comforting!

Update: From the pre-arrest Crab Catcher Transcripts:

GRANT ROY: I guess if they want to know what's going on, all they gotta do is read the blog, they can see what's going on in our lives.



JOSEPH KEREKES: Yea, yea.





HARLOW CUADRA: Our one neighbor, that's, that's ah, what she was doing I forgot what her posting name is...



JOSEPH KEREKES: ... she was posting in one of the blogs, our neighbor down... she was a big supporter of Harlow. She never talked to us before all this...

Are Harlow and Joe talking about Renee? It sure seems like they are...and this would be at odds with the background story Renee fed us earlier, that she did not join the Harlow crusade until after the arrest.

Sean, Grant and Robert Wagner ALL Officially Cleared

*****BREAKING NEWS*****



This from a court filing just posted by PC. It's from DA Melnick's Answer to Harlow Omnibus Pre-Trial Motion.

And it's language is clear, unmistakable, and unequivocal: In the view of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, accusations against Sean Lockhart, Grant Roy and Robert Wagner for the death of Bryan Kocis are FALSE. Thus, Sean, Grant and Robert are all now officially IN THE CLEAR as to this murder:



"The Defendants have also falsely suggested that [Robert Wagner, Grant Roy, and Sean Lockhart] were responsible for Bryan Kocis' death." -- DA Melnick

Update: The word seems to be spreading. The Sword runs an article on Brent and his mermanic role in the upcoming movie "Another Gay Sequel." The opening sentence: "Our favorite one-time murder suspect Brent Corrigan revealed a new persona..." (italics mine)

Brent's Take On The Hearing

Or rather, non-hearing. This an excerpt from his blog post from yesterday:

"...And then, lets not forget the Bryan Kocis murder case. Grant and I have navigated a living nightmare for more than a year now, doing everything we can to show the authorities and (indirectly) his family that we want to do what is right. Forget any press is good press. When the world and your industry insists on implicating you as a murder suspect, nothing good can come of that. Grant and I put everything on the line to voluntarily take part in a two day wire tap that ultimately provided the Pennsylvania authorities with evidence that will make their case against the murder suspects.

Sunday, July 6th Grant and I voluntarily traveled to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania to sit on the stand and declare we consented to the wire tap. Along with more than 10 other witnesses, we sat delayed for two days while the attorneys of the accused fumbled their way through the proceedings that ultimately rescheduled these pertinent pretrial hearings. Grant and I basically wasted 3 days in PA and then lost another to traveling cross-country. We endured a tampering and hostile witness (Madam) that went as far as to declare to the online world which hotel we were being discreetly and safely tucked away at. To top it all off, while waiting outside the court room Grant and I experienced harassment and name calling and hostility from the family of the deceased.

We had to hide from the media who had cameras trained on the holding rooms the authorities put us in (they moved us to a safer location to prevent from any more harrassment). I couldn’t even leave to use the restroom without them sticking cameras in my face. At one point, I was so frustrated with not even being allowed the luxury of relieving my bladder in peace that I flipped the cameras off. I forgot to explain to them that in my world that can be considered a gesture of endearment. Oops! I never watched to news to see if they aired it.

Thankfully Grant and I have each other. This murder case has strained our relationship exponentially to the point where what we once had together hardly even exists anymore. I love him. He’s the most important person in my life. We’re a team. We only have each other. Our relationship is truly one of a kind. Very sadly, things have been so strained that we cannot carry on a traditional relationship. There was a time where who we were to each other and how we felt about each other could be clearly defined. However, after navigating this case, building two companies from scratch, being screwed around and fucked over royally by Lee Bergeron- we aren’t what we used to be. We have both grown and become very different people, but our love and the fact that we only have each other has somehow managed to thrive and maintain itself. We will always be together in one way or another. My one wish is that Grant and I can work through things better so that some of this unwarranted stress and tension might relieve me...."

...

"...I’m not sad or depressed. I’m completely overwhelmed. The pretrial hit me hard and all of the momentum I had recovered before flying out to Pennsylvania has dissipated. I’m trying to figure out where to go from here. My self esteem appears to be suffering. I’m deflated and tired. As pathetic as it sounds . . . I haven’t had the energy or the time to work out in almost two months. That fact alone has ruined my sense of confidence (and probably severely affected my bodily chemistry). I had a respiratory infection that plagued me for two months. It has taken me this long to figure out it’s probably just really bad allergies I’ve developed as a result of growing older in a region I’m not originally from.

Why am I listing all this? Therapy I guess. Maybe I’m just trying to sort it all out through my fingertips. Some of my distance here may be a result of the fact that I have not felt like I could continue to be as honest about my life as I have in the past.

I wish I could find the energy and organization to move forward with everything that I should be using to springboard me into to what I’ve always wanted. The trouble now, it seems, is that I feel so deflated that I’m not so convinced I want all of what I was so originally determined to have."

Plus these comments added by Grant:

I LOVE YOU BABE! …and no matter what, “Just Keep on Truckin!”

>Grant

...

Comment by Grant — On July 11th, 2008 at 5:12 pm

and

Of course Woody, I was there! Lol… No Seriously, we were always no more than a phone call away from Pennsylvania’s finest, including senior detectives with the Luzerne County District Attorneys Office, Pennsylvania State Police and Dallas Township.

The Common Wealth of Pennsylvania have always been most professional, gracious and accommodating!

Comment by Grant — On July 11th, 2008 at 7:27 pm

Update: Renee responds with her own witness room recollections in these here comments. The Reader's Digest version (thus far):

1. Sean alledgedly made a heterophobic comment about women (?!) during a meeting of hearing witnesses, and was upset when told "you should try one before you knock it." Renee reported the alledged incident to the DAs;

2. Sean alledgedly complained of cold pizza;

3. Sean alledgedly said he was cold in the courthouse, and needed a sweater;

4. In Renee's view, Sean played to the cameras rather than avoided them; and

5. Grant and Sean were alledgedly seen "hanging out with" with fellow witness Andrew Shunk (aka Mason Banks, former Boybatter model and potential Confidential Informant #1) in a bookstore on the public square; Renee also felt compelled to report this alledged gathering of three people within earshot of each other to the DAs.

Update 2: Blogger NG weighs in, in back to back posts on his own blog. One amusing observation: "As of this post, out of 172 comments made on SOTC, more than half are from Renee."