The 2009 Acadamy Awards will be held a week from Sunday, February 22, and should provide us all welcome break from any other news stories we may all happen to be following in the days before and after. In the event that some of you may not have seen some or all of the Best Picture nominees, I've gone ahead and provided a brief decription of each film, and done so in such a way that we here in the Kocisphere can perhaps best relate to them.1. Slumdog Millionaire: The movie begins with a young man accused by police of a crime he did not commit. Through a series of flashbacks, his life story is revealed: growing up in relative poverty in a broken home, taken in by a child-exploiting crime lord, escaping from same after the crime lord is fortuitously murdered by someone else, working menial jobs until finally he enters the entertainment industry as his own boss...and despite jealous rivals in the industry trying to trip him up, he not only clears himself of the false charges, but goes on to achieve the pinnacle of fame and fortune.
A story line we are all familiar with...except this version takes place in India.
2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Due perhaps to the influence of a magical clock, Brad Pitt slowly transforms himself into a pre-teen with a birth certificate legitimately listing his age as somewhere in the mid-70s. In other words...the perfect Cobra Boy!
3. Milk: A young man in a tank top is at work, when suddenly the phone rings. He picks up the receiver, and the caller says: "It looks like my guy went a little overboard."
"WHHHAAAT! OMG!" the boy in the tank top exclaims.
"Yeah, Harvey went overboard and announced this huge rally, and we need lots of people to show up. Can you call ten people, then have them call ten people, etc..." says the caller.
"Oh...oh, is that all? Whew. Yeah, um, ok I can do that..." says the tank top boy.
4. The Reader: A 15 year old boy is statutorily raped. Later on the boy learns that his rapist is a facist control freak who would rather kill people than allow them to go free.
Based on a true story from Luzerne County in 2002, except this version is set in postwar Germany. And the 15 year old likes to read a lot.
5. Frost/Nixon: A reporter pays a suspected criminal $600,000 for an interview, despite the fact that such payment is widely seen as unprofessional and unethical.
By the way, this script is suspiciously similar to a screenplay of my own, Roecker/Cuadra, except the dollar amounts in the former seem to have been multiplied by a factor of 12. Hmmm...maybe I should file a copyright complaint...
5 comments:
Jim observes as well as notes... "I've gone ahead and provided a brief decription of each film, and done so in such a way that we here in the Kocisphere can perhaps best relate to them"
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It is simply art imitating life, or something like that.
As much as we now know about the Cobra murder story, and how it lacks alot of basic suspense and mystery which could have made it compelling as a screenplay, there is still a story here which could be a movie.
As I've said before, I see a cautionary tale of what NOT to do just because you think you can. There are several stories here, and even if you leave out the arrests and everything that followed, there is a drama leading up to it that tells us something.
Part of what makes this case have the followers is due to Harlow's reputation as a sweet little doer of good, charming, and caring, which was in direct conflict with the pictures we saw, and first hand accounts of lying snooty, snobs running around showing off what they have to the have nots.
I think we all like to see underdogs succeed, and the reverse might be true as well, the arrogants coming back down to earth in a spectacular crash.
How can a story loaded with sex, money, drugs, and perceived power be dull?
Some entertaining creative writing there Jim.
Quicky said, "How can a story loaded with sex, money, drugs, and perceived power be dull?"
Some people can make a story so dull and meaningless that even brightly colored lettering in various sizes will not help. :)
I also want to commend you on a very creative and amusing post, Jim, though I couldn't help thinking as I read it that this is all probably drawing to a close just in the nick of time to preserve your mental health. It's a little disturbing to think you can't even go enjoy a simple movie without drawing parallels to this case.
But just to prove that I'm as borderline obsessed as you, I thought I'd try my hand at a companion piece, "A Kentiesphere Guide to the Oscars," if you would indulge me.
1. Welfare Millionaire: A young man grows up in a middle-class American home and, after working a series of menial jobs, becomes deluded into thinking he is a part of the adult-entertainment industry. Sinks into poverty living with his mother as a welfare cheat in the slums of Massachusetts, while pretending to be a millionaire in Manhattan.
2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Nicholas: A vain and intellectually challenged male hustler desperately tries to reverse the aging process that threatens his "career," while achieving his 15 Minutes of fame as a serial plagiarist and friend to fellow plagiarist.
3. Curdled Milk: A notorious internet character assassin is exposed as a fraud when failing to show up at an awards ceremony as promised. He attempts to invoke "The Sushi Defense," is humiliated, and goes into hiding never to be heard from again. (Audiences cheer.)
4. The Blogger: Posing as a liberal gay activist, an obscure blogger chooses his friends unwisely and as a result is exposed as a convicted child molester and registered sex offender with a penchant for statutorily raping underage boys.
5. CC/Barclay: A female reporter offers an "investigative journalist" and suspected criminal $2,000/hr for a series of video interviews, despite the fact that such payment is widely seen as unprofessional and unethical. "Journalist" welches on deal, is humiliated. Again.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
LOL! :-)
Both you guys had me cracking up!!!
Will - you are coming really close to an Intervention!!!
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